Everyones memories of the past decade at the montrose cricket club.I will start with a few. Stormys golden season at the turn of the century. Shanahans decision to bowl in 40 degree heat. Sootlands nude nut in bendigo Rumors of cavity searches on players in bendigo Andys CHANDLER SHIELD ton against templeton.Any questions about this can be directed to andy personally,he will be more than happy to answer your question and elaborate on this fine knock
Stories from the last ten years at the montrose cricket club,good and bad!
Stormys golden season at the turn of the century,WHAT A YEAR!
Shanahans decision to bowl in 40degree heat
Sootlands nude nut in bendigo
Rumors of cavity searches on players in bendigo
Andys CHANDLER SHIELD ton against templeton.A great innings,anyone who has a question regarding it can direct it to andy himself who will be more than happy to answer it,and probably elaborate
JUST A FEW I WILL BE BACK LATER WITH MORE,ANYONE ELSE GOT A STORY TO TELL
ANOTHER FLASHBACK!!!!!! Around the middle of the decade montrose firsts were pitted against old foe south croydon at cheong park.Opening the batting in the one dayer was Mark Garthwaite who normally batted at five.With a good record at the ground that included a brilliant 99 the season before,gus as hes affectionately known strode to the crease full of confidence in what lay ahead.With big bad "bubba davies"(a future montrose player)pushing off the fence the contest was on.It quickly became apparent that a short ball assault from davies at speeds nearing 100kmh would need to be negotiated for gus to break his century drought at the wolves.Looking to reurn fire on the aggressive davies,gus decided to open his bag of tricks and deliver his rarely used pull shot,but unfortunately this had dire consequences.Yet to score garthwaite unleashed with a venomous pull shot only to see the ball balloon straight back to davies for the easiest(or so it was thought at the time)of catches.Having made a duck,gus was keen to atone with a great display in the field.With the montrose bowlers having decimated the south batting line up,garthwaites old foe davies was at the crease facing young tweaker Jake motteram.With a very aggressive field set garthwaite saw himself fielding at a very short cover.Third ball of the above mentioned over "bubba"takes a big swing only to get a top edge that dollys to gus,who has a chance to get even with his tormentor from earlier in the day.Much to the delight of the south croydon faithful(and most of his teamates)gus continues his bad day at the office by dropping the undroppable catch.A bad day for gus,but a good day for the story tellers,till we meet again.
Would you like me to start with the first ball Fanta Pants?
Here we go.
Score 4 for 68, Disney to Mirams from the Tourist Road End. Play and miss outside off stump. Oohs and Ahhs from the Templeton Slips Cordon.
Second Ball. See the first ball.
This went on for a few overs, eventually squirted one between Gully and Third slip, in the air!!
Dropped on 10 by Denton (S) form the bowling of Henry (Blonde bloke who only play two season with Temps, Very Quick but a little erratic) at short cover.
Gotta go to Cricket now, I'll be back later and continue. This could take a while. Some of the batting was amazing and I will need to do it justice..
Thanks for bringing this fine feat to everyone's attention. Has Chad ever made a century against a first XI?
__________________
Boof should never bowl again following his 20/20 efforts. One Tonne was correct, " Boof can't bowl" BANNED!!!!
Nice work Fanta Pants.. Bubba bowled as quick as I've ever seen him that day. Think Gus pulled his head out of the way (probably scared?) and that's why it went straight up.
Tell us about the day Dale Burley landed one on Barneys white helmet.
__________________
Boof should never bowl again following his 20/20 efforts. One Tonne was correct, " Boof can't bowl" BANNED!!!!
andy after that story id like you to tell me about the biggest 6 you've ever hit please... and if it was better than any joel harris or his father have ever hit??!!
it is joel harris isnt it?
-- Edited by dirtyspik on Saturday 19th of December 2009 11:14:14 AM
'BEEF AND BAYSIE PARK' This story all started back in round 6 2006 when young montrose all rounder Ashley"beef"Wellington strode to the crease against a feared opponent in bayswater park.With beef having been the hardest working player at the club and training the house down big things were expected.Batting at 7 beef looked scratchy at best before getting a fine edge and being caught behind for a duck.What wasnt known at the time,this would start a run of 8 consecutive ducks against the sharks culminating in the 2009 grand final.As the ducks started mounting up poor beef would shudder at the thought of batting against the sharks,so much so that he thought of feigning injury just to avoid them.With beefs struggle going unnoticed by his teamates in this three year period,and beef keeping his"LITTLE SECRET" to himself he feared he may never break the hoodoo.It wasnt until the 2009 semi final against the sharks at guy turner reserve that beefs little secret became known to everyone.Opening the batting with beef that day i overheard the sharks players saying"7 in a row"to beef,of which i didnt know what it meant.Having been dismissed for his regulation duck i became aware it meant 7 ducks in a row.After winning the semi and with a possible grand final match against the sharks,it was hoped that with beefs hoodoo out in the open he may be able to bounce back.A meeting with a psychologist was booked in for beef,but unfortunately he had to cancel at the last minute due to work committments.So history will tell us we did play the sharks in that grand final,and yes beef got another blob,number 8 in a row.This is where it would stop though.as in round 3 2009 beef would make an unbeaten 60 in the seconds and confine this hoodoo to the history books.Upon looking through some 600 scorebooks we believe this to be a record in our clubs history that hopefully will never be broken,and a story of perserverance by one man in his quest for just one run against a team that may have scarred him for life,well done beef,till we meet again
"THE PORPOISE AND THE TIED MATCH" The origins of this story can be dated back to the early 90's,where i first met greg gardam,aka the porpoise.Porpy and i where selected in the rdca under 21 side and with greg very young i had the pleasure of driving him to the matches.He was a fit and strong young man with evidence that future hair shortage could be a problem.With the club being in a rebuilding phase after several retirements,the montrose hierachy decreed that porpy would be a project player and given every opportunity to succeed.A talented leg spin bowler with a vicious full toss and more than capable with the willow porpy started his rise to fame.After a few years porpy decided to have a crack at croydon on turf,where he thought the ball that hits the pitch may turn more.It wasnt long before he was back "HOME" and by the turn of the century he started to hit his straps.With his batting starting to mature and his body starting to grow in to itself porpy started getting some scores.A magnificent 175 against kilsyth in the seconds had many hoping that the porpy had arrived.With his bowling seemingly taking a back seat to his batting porpy made a great 60 against the might of templeton,including numerous sixes.With the odd 30 and 40 porpy was just waiting for that breakthruogh innings in the ones.Throughout the decade porpy continued to dabble with his legspin but seem to have lost his one wicket taking ball,the deadly accurate full toss that had got him many a wicket.Yearning to be a hero for his club porpys time finally arrived.A virtual chandler shield relegation match between montrose and south warrandyte was played out at the picturesque montrose reserve.With montrose having bowled south out for a measly 170 spirits where high as our openers set about negotiating the ten or so overs remaining on day one.Elation quickly turned to horror as we struggled to 4 for ten overnight,including a scott o'neill dismissal that defied belief.As we started the run chase the following week it quickly became apparent that porpy was the man for the job.Despite wickets crumbling all around him the porpy held his nerve and mixed beautiful stroke play with deft deflections to get his side within sight of victory.With the scores tied and the porpy on strike it seemed a story 15 years or so in the making would have a happy ending,but it wasnt to be with porpy becoming the victim of a ball he had made his own,a low full toss which cannoned into his stumps.A frustrating way to finish the game but a great effort by the ever expanding porpy anyway,till we meet again.
Its taken a decade for the literacy genius of our loveable ranga to come to the for! Elegant stories, wonderfully constructed to finish with a bite! Never new you had it in you Mr Podesta. I remember that game well with the Porpoise, a game where one steve garrett took 6 fa, and i choked with victory in sight as well!
I also remember that game aswell, one of my very few games in the 1's. Seeing all those wickets falling at the other end on the first day was not a great feeling. I still believe that first day spell by garrett was the fastest bowling I have ever faced.
"40 NUGGETS" The seeds to this story were planted some 10 years ago with the arrival of a second rotund leg spinner to our ranks by the name of james gibson.The "BISON"as he would become known was originally an opening batsman who turned his career around as a leg spin bowler.With porpy and the bison in our ranks our spin bowling stocks were flying at the turn of the century.With so much in common it came as no surprise to anyone when these two finely tuned athletes became good friends.With the porpy gaining control of his parents old house it seemed a natural progression when the bison moved in around november 2006.The house which is situated in park rd Mt Evelyn is ideally located for beer lovers,being only a five minute walk to the pub when sober and approximately a 15-20 minute walk home depending on the level of intoxication.With the house being porpys parents it was decided that porpy would get prime position in the loungeroom which consisted of one big telly,a blue backmaster reclining chair,a grey imitation backmaster reclining chair and a keg shaped beer fridge.Porpy set the room up to allow minimum energy use for his ageing and expanding body.He had use of the original blue backmaster reclining chair which he placed next too the beer fridge which was directly in front the telly,which meant he only had to get up to relieve himself.Unfortunately for the bison his imitation grey backmaster reclining chair was on the other side of the room which meant he had to get up and walk to the kitchen for beer.While annoyed with this scenario the bison managed to deal with it and get on with life.After a few months living together the two legspinners got into a weekly routine that rarely changed,monday nights was pasta night with porpy whipping up the same pasta dish week after week and washing it down with a few beers,tuesday nights would see the bison doing a chicken dish which varied from week to week again washed down with a few beers.After dinner on tuesdays the leggies would talk to each other about there shared passion of leg spin bowling and offer each other tips and tell them about any miracle balls which they had bowled in the preceding week.Wednesday nights was dinner at the parents while thursday night was spent at the club, which brings us to friday nights and the 40 nuggets.The weekly ritual saw the boys go to the york every friday night and indulge in a few beers that was followed by maccas at around 12pm.On the particular night in question the drive thru order consisted of one large big mac meal for porpy and one large mc chicken meal for bison,and upon consultation with each other it was decided to get a 40 pack of nuggets to share(or so porpy thought).Upon returning home the boys where delighted to find a south africa versus england one dayer on telly.Getting comfortable in there reclining chairs, porpy started nibbling away at his chips while the bison went straight for his share of the nuggets and inadvertently started consuming some of porpys.A series of incidents that followed,which included a toilet visit by the porpy followed by a phone call from a young lass which lasted 10 minutes and a riveting game of cricket that had the bisons eyes stuck on the tv,meant that the porpy was in real danger of missing his nugget fill.Such was the bisons interest in the cricket that he didnt realise until porpy asked for one that he had consumed all 40 nuggets in a 23 minute session.Racked with guilt the bison sheepishly offered up his mcchicken as compensation for his actions only to be told by porpy it doesnt matter ill just have a beer.With a little bit of room still left the bison managed to knock off the mcchicken as well,a truly remarkable achievement,till we meet again!!
"THE CURSE OF WARRANDYTE" Andrew"SLUGGER"Mirams our former coach and chandler shield centurion is the subject of this quite distressing story.Slugger would seem to have the perfect game to maximise his considerable talents on the narrow but long warrandyte reserve.With the best"SLOG SWEEP" in the game it would seem a perfect place for slugger to ply his trade,yet this wasnt necessarily the case in the 07/08 and 08/09 seasons.Upon starting our vigorous pre game warm up in round 6 2007 slugger suffered a major leg injury whilst attempting to jog a slow lap with his teammates.Fearing a potential season ending,maybe even career threatening,injury slugger was forced to tell captain barney edwards that he may need to call in a replacement player.When a player couldnt be obtained slugger,who was down to bat at number 6 made the courageous decision to not only play but open the batting against his most feared opponent Gerald"pup" Walshe.With his inability to run a major obstacle, a runner was required and slugger limped out to face the music in what was surely one of the most selfless and courageous acts of the decade.With his footwork virtually non existent slugger dug deep and made one of the finest fifties of his career.Something unique about this innings was a strong resemblance to sluggers century the decade before against chirnside park,also made under sufferance after tearing his hamstring off the bone and thus requiring a runner for most of his innings.Watching slugger limp off at warrandyte this day knowing his career may be in jeopardy was incredibly difficult.Once slugger finally made it all the way up the ramp and in to the clubrooms the severity of the injury dawned on all of us when he told of the excruciating pain resonating from his left calf muscle.Whilst the option of ringing an ambulance was raised slugger decided to just rest his leg for the rest of the day in the hope that it would make a miraculous recovery.Still limping at the end of the days play,slugger headed home not sure of what the future held.The following Tuesday night at training slugger informed us all that the doctor diagnosed the injury as a grade12(the worst you can get)calf cramp caused by a lack of salt.With his spirits raised slugger hoped to be fine for the rest of the season.Speculation was rife amongst sluggers teamates as to the reason why his salt levels would be so low, with the most popular theory being that his new found penchant for trendy or so called fad diets was responsible.It was noticed that slugger had being consuming his own personally made afternoon teas that were comprised of chinese herbs and foods i can neither spell nor pronounce.It was a very busy period in sluggers life with marriage and impending fatherhood,coupled with reaching middle age maybe also adding to sluggers low salt levels.The following season would also see slugger struck down by the curse at warrandyte.In a rare run of poor form slugger and the coaching hierachy decided that slugger should open the batting and try to replicate the heroics of twelve months prior.Walking out to bat with slugger that day i noticed a steely resolve in sluggers eye and thought he was in for a big one.As i always take first ball i started heading to the strikers end only for slugger to say i want first ball and unfortunately with those three words slugger had sealed his own fate.Facing up first ball of the match slugger was pitted against old foe pup walshe,and with one lethal delivery the battle was over.A thin inside edge off sluggers v100 willow cannoned in to middle stump and the curse continued,but slugger lives to fight another day,till we meet again!!!!!
Loving your work Fanta Pants. I still don't rate Puppy Walshe. Imagine if Beef was expected to play through the pain I felt that day. I am a lot tougher than I am given credit for. For the record I made 84 that day, and yes I do play the best (and Biggest) slog sweep..
__________________
Boof should never bowl again following his 20/20 efforts. One Tonne was correct, " Boof can't bowl" BANNED!!!!
One tonne i am quite insulted by your inference that these "FACTUAL ENCOUNTERS" are anything but 100% true.Over the last decade i have kept a diary ,so as to ensure the authenticity of each flashback,and where i had any miniscule of doubt i have corroborated with the person involved so the "TRUTH AND ONLY THE TRUTH" has been reported.
Sorry Fanta Pants, but One (second xi) Tonne is probably correct this time. Even the Templeton blokes said, "What an amazing effort to make a CHANDLER century whilst standing still"..
__________________
Boof should never bowl again following his 20/20 efforts. One Tonne was correct, " Boof can't bowl" BANNED!!!!
Boof whilst disappointed with your decision to back onetonnes theory that im writing crap,maybe the explanation is as simple as a misunderstanding.It just maybe that my meaning of footwork differs to that of onetonnes and as such he is misguided in his attack on my integrity.I am comfortable in classifying your batting ritual of "PLONKING YOUR FOOT ONE METRE DOWN THE TRACK AND OUTSIDE OFFSTUMP EVERY BALL" as footwork,while clearly onetonne sees this as more of a trigger movement and as such believes your footwork is non existent!!!!!! Now that we have satisfactorily cleared up this little anomaly,hopefully we can get back to the important job of sharing these special moments with the people of the montrose cricket club community.
I think maybe you misunderstood me Ginger Nuts. One Tonne was only correct on my lack of footwork. Your accounts of all stated events are incredible in their accuracy. I await your next topic. As you well know One Tonne is the one that talks crap, has been doing so for long before you and I embarked on our 176 first xi games together.
__________________
Boof should never bowl again following his 20/20 efforts. One Tonne was correct, " Boof can't bowl" BANNED!!!!
Yes Redknob you did a very good job in re-telling the Nuggets story. And you're right One Tonne it is very much the truth, it's an amazing memory that Redknob has!
Thank you porpy, and by the way how are you.Hopefully now with yourself and boof coming out and verifying these stories the doubters can back off let me weave my magic in peace!!!!!
Sorry to harp on this fellow wolves,but i have just double checked my diary and there maybe a minor inaccuracy in the nugget story.I am hoping that porpy may be able to help.The issue that has come to my attention relates to the chairs and there color.Was the original backmaster reclining chair blue or was the imitation backmaster reclining chair the blue one?Thanks
was a great telling of events redknob was in tears. You weren't there that night were you? Don't worry bout the colour of the chairs thats minor detail you did however forget to mention the parma and chips that was devoured at the start of the night.
"ONE TONNE"PART ONE 10th feb 2007 will long be remembered as the day Howard "NO TONNE" Bentley became Howard "ONE TONNE "Bentley.The longest drought in MCC and RDCA history was finally broken with a trademark nick between the keeper and first slip for four to push Howard to 100 not out.A dream 45 years in the making, it would not have been possible if not for the dogged determination and will of the man we now call one tonne.Lets relive the journey. Born with long arms and legs but with a small torso that seemed out of place, the well tanned one tonne would struggle with co-ordination issues in his formative years.Whilst at primary school he would be the butt of many a joke but in true one tonne style,with his laid back and even laconic approach to life these would never worry him.Whilst his body was holding him back it was obvious to everyone that one tonne was gifted with an amazing cricket brain.This was never more evident than the day he was listening to the transistor and called Ian Meckiff for chucking an over before the officiating umpire picked up on it. By the age of 13 one tonnes body was nearly in proportion and his cricket career started in the under 14s under the tutelage of uncle frank and a very young lawrence wallis.With his above average height and inspector gadget like arms,coupled with being a left armer ,the hope was that he could be an early version of wasim akram.Unfortunately this wasnt to be though with onetonne opting on being a very slow bowler as opposed to a spin bowler.Due to his gangly nature one tonne struggled with the bat ,which would be an on going issue throughout his career. With the cricket bug having well and truly bitten one tonne would spend hours and hours by himself in the nets trying to perfect the perfect slow straight ball, and it was here that trouble would strike.One tonne was fifteen by now and had grown in to a handsome young man,tall with striking dark features that would make him the envy of everyone.His cricket career had started to take off with him making back to back 20s and amongst the wickets nearly every game.Still training at the nets by himself nightly he started to be harassed by the three local thugs who were envious of his ability and charm.They would steal his ball and throw it in the bushes as well as bait him about his reluctance to fight back.After three months of constant harassment one tonne thought enough is enough, and as "SLUGGER SIMPSON","BUSTER BEAVER"and"KNUCKLES KING" approached this night he took up his fighting stance and yelled the words"BRING IT ON", and utilising his massive reach advantage proceeded to knock all three out.With the job completed one tonne was about to walk home when he noticed a packet of something had fallen out of beavers pants and he went over to inspect,only to find a packet of "WEE WILLEM CIGARS" and an addiction was born. By the age of 20 one tonne was entrenched in the first eleven and was now a very accomplished batsman and had decided to put his bowling on the back burner.With several fifties to his name he thought it was a matter of time to register his first elusive century.With alot of personnel changes around the start of the 90s one tonne knew he was now the main man.Working extremely hard on his game he set a great example for the youngsters coming through,with the likes of storm,mirams,rogers and podesta watching his every move.
Crowey as you could understand with so "MANY" amazing performances im finding it hard to pick the appropriate one to open the innings.Maybe just maybe with your amazing intellect you can start us off!!!
A wonderful story Anthony. It's amazing how well you recall all this stuff in the most stunning detail. I was dissapointed that you didn't mention that it was my batting tips that ended your 15yr run drought. Oh well maybe that can be for another installment of "Memoirs of Red knob". Keep them coming Tolken
Very true one tonne ,and will be explained in the most stunning detail in "ONE TONNE" PART TWO.Im happy with the "memoirs of redknob" saying,its quite catchy,probably should have used that myself, as for the tolken bit you have stumped me there,might have to google that unless crowey is willing to help me out? Anyway merry christmas one tonne and family and all other wolves.
Hey Ginger Nuts, my spies tell me that each of these installments take at least three hours. Is this true? If it is I like to ask you to apply the same amount of concentration to your batting in the next decade. Perhaps then you will go on and get a BIG score instead of cheaply giving your wicket away when you are fatigued.
I know One Tonne, "people in glass houses, Blah Blah"
__________________
Boof should never bowl again following his 20/20 efforts. One Tonne was correct, " Boof can't bowl" BANNED!!!!
Unfortunately fellow wolves the moderator of this website has just recieved an anonymous complaint from someone(guess who), and as such i am unable(allowed)at this point in time to continue on with my stories of the last decade.Hopefully our legal team at Bentley,Mirams and partners can come to a quick resolution with the aggrieved party and i can get on with enlightening our constituents of the events of the past decade.Hope to write for you soon,and again merry christmas and a happy new year.
As part of your legal team Fanta Pants, I made a few inquiries and contacted the anonymous complainant. Lynette says you can get back online after your beach holiday.
Remember to Slip Slop Slap, you people with red hair generally have very sensitive skin, hey Crowie?
__________________
Boof should never bowl again following his 20/20 efforts. One Tonne was correct, " Boof can't bowl" BANNED!!!!
Wolfie are you sure S. Parker played last decade I'm sure it was longer than that since I saw the big fella around the club! Interesting stuff Wolfie! 'The Broomstick' has been through all the grades over a long & loyal career with an impressive bowling average to boot!!!!! Just one more thing are you sure you haven't got Alby's bowling average & batting average around the wrong way, I'm sure he was a better performer than that for us!
-- Edited by PORPY on Monday 11th of January 2010 06:06:11 AM
-- Edited by PORPY on Monday 11th of January 2010 06:11:15 AM